the yankees took it too far this time with the marathon….
the sexual tension when u and ur crush are online on fb at the same time and u just stare at their lil green dot
and suddenly you know what gatsby felt like
(Source: twoukofukawa)
I’m going to have to ask you to pop lock and drop the attitude, young lady.
If you ever feel like you’re a bad driver remember that in the entire state of Ohio in 1895 there were only two cars on the road and the drivers of those two cars crashed into each other
I JUST WENT TO TACO BELL AND THE GIRL SAID “have a sauce-ome day!” AND I WAS LIKE “wtf” THEN THEY SHOWED ME A LIST OF WORDS THEY HAVE TO USE WHEN TALKING TO CUSTOMERS OMFG
burritolicious.
Beyonce is covering Back to Black by Amy Winehouse for the Great Gatsby soundtrack
I REPENT EVERYTHING I’VE DONE JESUS TAKE THE WHEEL
*blows you a kiss*
*slaps it out of the air* NOT IN MY HOUSE HA HA HA
(Source: 00nucleotide)
This, ladies and gentlemen, is what you get when you stand up to a man who beats his young girlfriend in public. Not the black eye, not the broken nose, but the sense of being a fucking great human being.
Earlier today while I was waiting for the bus I witnessed a man walk up to his girlfriend, who couldn’t have been older than 18, kick her handbag, spit on her and scream in her face that she was a cunt. He walked back into the bus shelter after telling her she was worthless and pathetic and kicking her in the gut then as she tried to follow he turned around to grab her. I got in between them and told him that he should never EVER spit on a woman, hit her or talk to her in that way. He laughed in my face and said he would “fuck me up”. I looked him square in the eye and told him that I was not afraid of him. He proceeded to scream obscenities at her as I took her away from him, then he shouted to me that he could walk round the corner to get people to kill me. Feeling defiant, I said “go on, I dare you, there’re plenty of people around to witness it.” The prick then walked right up to me and head butted me in the nose. I am now sporting a swollen face and the beginnings of a black eye but the police took swabs from my nose to get his DNA and they know exactly who he is. Cunt’s going down for assault. Motherfuckers don’t treat women like that and get away with it. I feel heroic.
That’s right bitches. Women deserve respect.
holy shit you fucking excellent human we need more people like you
you are my favourite type of human
(Source: paper-snow-a-ghost)
i’m home sick with the flu and i just received this email from my father
STOP REBLOGGING THIS MY DAD THINKS HE’S SOME INTERNET SENSATION AND HE WON’T SHUT UP ABOUT IT
(Source: bonnieandclydes)