And this shit is why so many people, myself included, never report this shit. My husband is the only person who knows I was raped (until just now obviously), and even he doesn’t know anything other than who it was.
The more I see about this bullshit, the more pissed off I get.
Why I never reported… I mean, I was flirty and let him into my house when I was home alone, so I deserved it. :P
Yeah, I went to his house alone with him (nevermind that he fucking lied to me and said we were having dinner with his family…) so obviously there was no proof I didn’t consent to it. He even told people we had sex. He told people I was a whore. That’s probably the worst part, having people come up to you after the fact and saying “Did you really have sex with ____?” And them not believing you when you deny it, because you don’t want to tell anyone what really happened… it’s all just a bunch of fucking bullshit.
And this is the main reason how my virginity was lost. Behind a dumpster, his fist and penis shoved violently in me making me tear and bleed. I wasn’t drunk, I wasn’t high. But I kissed him and it was 3am. I must have asked for it. I labeled myself as a bisexual because my first love was my best friend and she had broken my heart. He said he could change me, make me love men again. He said I didn’t need to like women ever as long as he was there. And I was 14, alone and left out in the cold. My mom told me I begged for attention and called me a liar when she found out, and every night after that I cried myself to sleep and cut my wrists hoping I’d end myself. I needed comfort and I stopped eating, disgusted at how I looked, I didn’t bathe. I wore the same old sweats and t-shirt day in and day out and after finally having someone care I was taken to the psychiatric ward, labeled a crazy freak and ate my lunch in the bathroom stall after all of this. And I made it, I had a daughter and he moved on into the military. And I know what he did. What I did not give him, is his to keep. Because no one cared.
I must have asked for it. things like this disgust me, it makes me almost ashamed.
I was called a whore, a slut. And I was shamed.
Who was there for this poor girl? Who was there? No one.